Feb 12 2011

Falling Through

Category: Angels,Ecstasy,MJ Quotes,Prose/EssaysSeven @ 4:43 pm

Falling Through

"When all life is seen as divine, everyone grows wings." -Michael Jackson

Up There

Back when I worked in a large building, in fact when I worked in several different large buildings in the past, going up on the roof was a favorite thing to do at lunch and breaks. There was no rooftop garden or dining area – just a roof. Tarpaper that looked mighty thin and fragile yet was somehow solid beneath. It felt good to have the viewpoint from up there and to look upon people who didn’t know we could see them from up there. It was often high enough up that they looked pretty tiny and we could see the pattern of life teeming below from a perspective that couldn’t be seen otherwise. To be able to get away from the day-to-day grind and escape like that was a real gift sometimes. It was private, a change of pace, and when needed, solace.

Same with flying airplanes, which I used to do as well. Small planes, like single-engine Cessnas. Seeing life from a different perspective outside changes your perspective inside completely. In an airplane, there’s no one but yourself, a humming engine, and God. Physical removal from the planet, and a rise to the sky where one spends a good bit of time does something to a person. It’s why Richard Bach wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull, A Bridge Across Forever, Illusions: Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, and One. He spent a lot of time up there too and he knew about this changed perspective, this further dimension of spirituality that is accessible simply from being ‘up there‘. You know of course that Jonathan Livingston Seagull was also one of Michael’s favorite stories.

The one fear one has from the roof or from the plane, is falling. Falling through the roof or through the air with no control whatsoever. You only know that you are going inextricably down and likely to a horrible and sudden end. But – this is where the story of Jonathan Livingston Seagull truly began.

Delayed Reaction

When my stepfather died, they called me at 3:00 or so in the morning. We knew he’d been ill, getting worse and I knew he was in the hospital. I had called his room just the day before to talk to him. I hadn’t realized it at the time but it was a last ‘goodbye‘ for him. He didn’t say that and I didn’t know. Not until the next day. After I received the call that he was gone, I was un-fazed. I planned to go to work. But after about 3-4 hours it hit me. He was gone. Gone! My stepfather was for all intents and purposes, my father. We had wanted him to adopt us but he refused – not because he didn’t love us. He certainly did. But, had he adopted us, we would not have been allowed to see our biological father ever again. And he thought that was not acceptable. When it hit me I felt lost. Totally lost. I called my sister back and was literally blubbering. We agreed that I should fly home to be there with the rest of the family. I made arrangements at my job to take the necessary days to do so.

When I got home, the first thing I did was go to the bedroom closet and pull out his poems. That was the first thing I thought of when I thought of him – even though he hadn’t written a poem since the 1940s – 1950s or so, mostly he’d written them in his younger years, before I even knew him. I used to get them out and sit on the living room floor and read them. I think he was flattered that I had taken any interest in them at all. At the same time, I think it made him feel uncomfortable that I was reading things that he had written from his heart and soul – 20-30 years ago. No one else in the family thought about those poems. Even his own sister who knew him during the decades he had written them had forgotten about them. They were on old yellowed paper and either handwritten or typed out on an old typewriter. Some of them were even compiled into a sort of chapbook. I ended up making copies of all of them for his sister after he died. A few years later, he appeared to me in a sort of ‘dream‘ when Mom was visiting me. Odd timing, that. He was dressed in this silly fishing hat, some touristy looking shorts and a polo shirt, looking quite bright and healthy. He told me: “They have everything here!“, and he also said: “Tell your brother to take care of your mother for me.” At the time, Mom lived alone in an apartment so I thought that was interesting. Now, however she does live with my eldest brother, who along with my older sister, takes care of her. How did he know that’s where Mom would end up? How did he know she was there with me when he came to visit me in that ‘dream‘? Had he come to see her too? And do they really “have everything there”, wherever it was he was referring to?

There have been many experiences in my life even prior to this that let me know that the life we see, the physical beings we are, the material world we live in, isn’t all there is. I’ve had out of body experiences that were at once fascinating and frightening, lest I be unable to return to this vessel which contains my soul. I haven’t had one of those in years and when I did, it was before my stepfather passed so I had some inkling that things were not quite exactly as literal they seem in this life. I dread the next time I lose someone – I dread that delayed reaction I seem to have when this happens. I am fine for hours or even days, but then it hits me like an emotional freight train and I fall very suddenly into an uncontrollable sea of pain, regret, guilt, grief.

Falling Through

This is what happened when we lost Michael, too. The first day, I didn’t even know for sure that it was true. The next two days, it nagged at me from the back of my mind like a crying child that wouldn’t go to sleep or had a terrible case of colic.  Because I had been busy with other people much of the weekend it wasn’t until the end of the second day that I had time for it to sink in and started remembering. I looked back at the videos of his performances and the videos of his interviews. I looked back at his humanitarian endeavors and remembered most of those – the ones that were at all publicized. I looked back at his poems and essays in ‘Dancing the Dream‘. I painfully remembered so much about this boy/man whom I first heard sing in 1969 and his life, his music, his career, and the horrible abuse he suffered at the hands of a sick and deluded society. I remembered most if not all the songs, both his own and those with his brothers. I used to watch Soul Train and the Jacksons Variety Show and the Jackson 5 cartoon. We had his vinyl records in the house when I was growing up – Michael and the Jackson 5. I remembered him all through his major tours, albums and the trials and accusations.The more I remembered, the more I was stunned over and over again by what we’d lost. During this process, I also learned so much more that I never knew about Michael Jackson. With every old memory of him and everything new I learned about him, another piece of my heart shattered and went with him wherever he was. My mind remembered all that my heart never forgot. I cried and cried and I still haven’t really stopped. What do I do now? I was totally emotionally lost.

If someone had told me that he would die so soon and that his death would affect me like this, I’d not have believed it. I was and I am still convinced that this man/child/being was sent to humanity on a mission from God. Not just here for a purpose but a mission. Everything he was and everything he suffered because of it mirrored the problems with our world and our society. He was sent here as messenger and an example. I still believe that. It all just hit me like a freight train and I went sinking into some of the worst grief I’ve ever felt. I went for walks alone. I went into a chapel and wrote asking for prayers twice for his safe deliverance to the angels. The third time was for his children. I hid and cried alone. I still do that sometimes. Few people understand this.

Early on though, I seemed to be getting visual cues, messages, things happened that seemed to tie in with his absence – but which also told me that he was only physically absent, but not spiritually. It seemed like it was important that I realized this and that I fully understood where he was now, and why this meant that I could actually be closer to Michael than I’d ever been. After the blue heron experience I was stunned. I was overjoyed. But I questioned it. Could it really be? But it was a very compelling feeling that I just couldn’t shake. I knew it meant something and I knew what it was, but it took me a couple of weeks to actually come to grips with it. And there was always that nagging feeling that this wasn’t an ordinary loss. It has never left me. Nothing about Michael’s life or death was ordinary. No, this was something different. This man was put here for a reason, and I somehow felt he wasn’t exactly ‘gone‘.

I’d lay in bed at night and ‘talk‘ to Michael in my head. And I’d get answers seemingly from ‘nowhere‘. I don’t mean I heard voices, but I’d get answers. I shared here one of those conversations between myself and Michael. Here is part of what he said:

but more than anything, create
write a poem, sing a song, dance
draw a picture, paint a scene
express yourself in creation
do anything from your Heart
help a sick child
be a friend to someone who needs you
when you know you don’t have to
and there’s nothing in it for you
when you do any of this, that is when
most of all, I am there with you

Love is at the Heart of all Creation
to create is to live from the soul
of the Universe
to become part of all that is
This is where I have always lived

Your soul contains the wisdom of God
but don’t forget to retain the Heart of a Child
don’t box yourself inside
any thoughts of limitation
believe in yourself
if you can imagine it, it can be done
when you create, most of all
when you are kind, most of all
to anyone and the Planet
I am there with you, We are One.

So, what do I do with that? Well, besides being kinder to strangers, giving and doing more with charity, there was my writing and my poetry. I am not in that field professionally. I do something else for a living. And I’ve been doing it for over 30 years. But I would rather be writing instead. Not that I hate my other work, after all I ended up in that field for a reason. But after 30 or so years, and after being talked out of being a writer my entire life (or in the case of my family, simply ignored), I felt that it was time to do something about this. I located a vocal coach and creative instructor to both help me to be able to vocalize better (as in poetry readings) and to help me better understand and nurture my creativity. “More than anything, create“… were the words that came. This led to something else. The instructor told me about a book called ‘The Artist’s Way‘. This book explains the spiritual aspect of creativity and teaches the reader/practitioner how to develop that to its fullest and how to stop the negativity that one hears from themselves and others about being creative. Between what I found in that book and what I already knew and further learned about Michael, I realized these were the same teachings – that what Michael expressed during his life about creativity and what that book teaches are the same. I don’t consider it any coincidence that things happened this way. Michael either knew what this book teaches instinctively or he may have studied it himself. After all at least one of his directors certainly did – Martin Scorcese. And he wasn’t a considerable success until after he’d completed it from what I understand.

In Dancing the Dream Michael wrote:

Consciousness expresses itself through creation. This world we live in is the dance of the creator. Dancers come and go in the twinkling of an eye but the dance lives on. On many an occasion when I’m dancing, I’ve felt touched by something sacred. In those moments, I’ve felt my spirit soar and become one with everything that exists. I become the stars and the moon. I become the lover and the beloved. I become the victor and the vanquished. I become the master and the slave. I become the singer and the song. I become the knower and the known. I keep on dancing and then, it is the eternal dance of creation. The creator and creation merge into one wholeness of joy. I keep on dancing and dancing and dancing, until there is only – the dance.

This is exactly the concept taught in ‘The Artist’s Way‘. The Great Creator (artist) is God. We are ourselves creations of God and his/her/its consciousness. When we are creative (as we are all meant to be), we become part of that (his/her) consciousness, of that passion and energy. This energy is the consciousness of life, and of creation – when we create, we become part of that universal energy – we become One with it. At that point, there is only ‘the dance‘ and we are One with God (the Great Creator), with all of creation.  We are one with the universe. Michael also expressed it like this:

Let us dream of Tomorrow where we can truly love from the Soul and know love as the ultimate Truth at the Heart of all Creation.

God created us out of love. When we are creative, we are loving him/her/it back. It is a union, a spiritual connection. Michael knew this.

Creativity is also a child. It only wants to love, be loved, and play. Sounds like Michael, right? That’s why he loved being around children. He had a childlike heart & soul. That is part of what enabled him to be so creative – the fact that he retained that. People have trouble being creative (like, writer’s block for instance) if they lose their sense of wonder, innocence, play, fun and get too caught up in adult judgements and rules and limitations. But kids know nothing of that stuff! Michael didn’t either. He retained his childlike innocence and this sometimes got him in trouble. People misunderstood this about him and judged him very harshly for it. Children’s imaginations are very fertile. So was Michael’s. This is why fun and play inspired him so much, like when he wrote Speechless.

When we talk about God in this aspect, we’re not talking about a religious but rather a spiritual God. The Universe and the buzz or universal energy and rhythm that is contained in every living thing and in its creation, life, and death. One can think of God also as an artist, a collaborator for creativity.

The Artist’s Way:

The heart of creativity is an experience of the mystical union; the heart of the mystical union is an experience of creativity. Those who speak in spiritual terms routinely refer to God as the Creator but seldom see creator as the literal term for artist. Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy; pure creative energy. There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life–including ourselves.  –The Artist’s Way


All art has as its ultimate goal the union between the material and the spiritual, the human and the divine. -Michael Jackson

This is why one of the first words out of Michael’s mouth when asked where his genius came from was “God“. He tapped into that energy, it came through him and out to the world in the form of both his creative work and his humanitarianism. Michael was very tuned in to the spiritual aspect of creativity and he realized how this not only brought him closer to God, but to himself, and his own soul. This, along with his childlike innocence, was key to everything he did. Like a child, Michael didn’t entertain or accept any concept of limitation in anything he did. He was a very spiritually-connected, artistic child in his heart and soul, as he had to be in order to gift us with the amazing treasures that he gave during his life. This came straight through Michael from God him/her/itself. That is the magic.

I had never had any difficulty understanding Michael in general or the things he did and never thought him guilty at all of the things he was accused of. Since he’s physically left here however, my understanding of him (and thus myself and God) has deepened considerably. I’m sure that Michael didn’t know he was an angel but he was. I believe this not only because of the nagging knowledge or feeling that he was here on a God-given mission, but also because the first time I heard him sing back in 1969 or so, he awakened my heart and I never forgot that. My heart didn’t know how to dance until I heard Michael Jackson sing. I will never forget that feeling. Secondly and not least, it is angels who bring people to ecstatic union with God. That is their job, among other things, and he has done this very well, not only with me but with many others. This is why he was so beloved, as much as some people twitch and cringe at the thought. That is because they do not understand the spirituality of creativity or the creativity of spirituality.

What we think is the end is often where the story begins

You may remember that I wrote something else that I felt came from another conversation with Michael early after his death. In ‘talking‘ to him (in my mind) one night, this came to me. Again, seemingly out of ‘nowhere‘. Not a voice or even a thought but just this message. It was:

Some say Time has passed us by, but I say it never ends. This is not an endless ending. This is only where We begin.

So, like the story of Jonathan Livingston Seagull the fall through horrible pain and grief is where this story begins. This is where I’ve landed: At the beginning. Of course I’d rather have Michael here especially now that I understand him so completely but I actually feel closer to him now and can remain closer to him now than I ever could have when he was physically present in this world  with all its limitations. That’s the message I’ve gotten over and over again through all of this.

I have fallen so far and so deeply through this grief, pain, regret, and guilt because of his death and of course it will always be there. But rather than a horrible and sudden ending to this fall, I’ve landed here and I do not believe this is any coincidence whatsoever. I have been led through this deeply spiritual loss to a place where I can meet Michael, myself, and God at any time in complete union. Remember ‘111’ or ‘1111’ and how it is believed by some to be a gateway of communication from angels to mortals? Remember what Michael said: “All art has as its ultimate goal the union between the material and the spiritual, the human and the divine.”  I have been seeing these numbers quite frequently thus far this year. Combined with everything else on this journey, and the messages I’ve received and the events that have transpired, I truly believe Michael is very much alive. Not physically, but spiritually, and he is telling me that nurturing my own creativity is the way to myself, God, and him. There it is. The portal.

Of course the grief is still there much of the time. But it is punctuated by moments of sheer joy at having received this gift and this message. I will always physically miss Michael. But I always know too, right where to find him: where his sweet soul has always been. He has let me know in no uncertain terms that spiritually, he’s really not gone anywhere.

Heaven is Here. You and I were never separate. It’s just an illusion. Wrought by the magical lens of perception. In a nonlocal Universe there is nowhere to go from Here to Here.
-Michael Jackson

_ _ _

© 2011, Seven Bowie (except excerpts from ‘The Artist’s Way‘ and ‘Dancing the Dream‘)

NOTE:  Richard Bach’s other books – Illusions: Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, Bridge Across Forever, and One, are all worthy reads which also deal with these same concepts and themes. They may be out of print but try http://www.abebooks.com if you’re interested.

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28 Responses to “Falling Through”

  1. nessie says:

    heart is smiling for you … and for me! Thank you, Seven, for giving in and letting yourself get closer to your talent by practicing your ‘Dancing the Dream’ footwork so diligently, AND sharing your journey with us. I SO appreciate the touchstones you provide, especially valuable to those of us who never imagined having such a great need for these things. THANK YOU again!!!

  2. Jackie says:

    Seven It’s amazing! Speechless. You are so smart. I don’t know what to say because all these is magical.

    Thank you for sharing.

  3. Max says:

    By Jove, you’ve got it, Seven! Michael is all around us, in joy and in love. What I really appreciate about Dancing The Dream is that he so gets it. It’s not easy to take these concepts and put them into one’s own words, and have them make perfect sense to the reader. That’s why Dancing is such an elegant little book. You don’t need to know more about Michael than that he thought those thoughts and felt those feelings, and therefore it is impossible for him to be anything the media has accused him of. Anyone who doesn’t understand that hasn’t listened to him or read his words. In fact, all one REALLY needs to do to know who Michael was is look into his eyes.
    Thanks for allowing yourself to be so open with us. You’ve been a great help to many, including me.

  4. Jeanne says:

    I never know where you are going to take me next. But I always return to find out. This time you opened the door to a heart I always knew was there. And thats not easy to do especially if that heart was ever broken. Trust me I know. But you did and this time there was a strength or a shield or an invisible forcefield that stood strong and just like that picture I saw you had of Michael in the suit of armor I just saw something about you Seven that has me very happy and proud to know you. You are Seven but a different Seven. One who has been in training and is now being fitted in the suit and ready for a great battle. One who learned and earned the wisdom and the right to carry the sword. For the purpose is now clear. Your teacher taught you well. You see the road ahead and you take you stance proudly and you are ready. I just saw Seven graduate. I am going to celebrate. And yes Michael is very much alive and much stronger now.

  5. Julis says:

    Beautiful words for a beuatiful person. You are so correct Seven. Yours is a wonderful summation of Michael’s life purpose and how deep and spiritual he was.
    I still cry for him and yes my friends and family think I am crazy, but they do not understand how he has affected my life. I am a better person because of him and what he genuinely believed in and stood for. I live my life ‘With A Child’s Heart”, because he did the same.
    God Bless you Seven.

  6. Joyce says:

    Wow, reading this gave me goosebumps and such a feeling of joy. You have most certainly been blessed with a special creative gift. I have no doubt that Michael’s spirit is guiding you and providing you with inspirational messages that you so wonderfully share with all of us.
    I am most definitely not a highly creative or spiritual person but in the past year and a half I have absolutely felt Michael’s spirit and presence in every part of my life. His music, his writings, his spiritual presence has helped me through some difficult times recently and has encouraged me to work at being a better, more caring person. I can’t begin to explain the effect that Michael’s death, and subsequently learning so much more about his life and his “mission”, has had on me. I really don’t understand it myself! There is still a feeling of grief which I know will never completely go away but as you so eloquently wrote in this beautiful essay, I also feel such joy just knowing that Michael’s spirit will always be a part of us.
    Thanks Seven, for sharing your experience and helping me to recognize and appreciate my own feelings.

  7. Dialdancer says:

    Seven you received an incredible gift.

  8. lauren says:

    I think this is a beautiful description of what a spirital awakening is, and
    I believe that Michael’s passing opened that door to many, many of us still
    bound to this earth. An elegant wordsmith described to me the incredible
    idea that our human form is just that…a form that houses the true self, the
    soul. I recall walking around that very day sort of looking at people in a
    totally different way. Seeing little lights inside the human form that reflected
    the true being..the part that is One with everything that God created. The
    Oneness that Michael spoke of and knew because he was closer to his God than
    probably he even realized. I believe Michael’s spirit is everywhere and that
    he has touched some of us, perhaps many, with his presence. Dreams or words
    just are, hearts flutter literally with a touch unseen. Quite remarkable
    really. When I read words like this it brings a certain peace because each
    time I do, it so confirms what that man gave all of us.

  9. Sue Springer says:

    Thank you, Seven, for sharing your journey with all of us. You put into words so beautifully what my heart feels and cannot express clearly. I believe that Michael watches over all of us all the time. He loved us so much better than we loved him. Love and peace.

  10. Taaj Malik says:

    Magnificent, i always enjoy reading you post, thank you♥

  11. BGG says:

    Wow, Seven, this was just beautiful and I agree with so very much! You’re not alone on this journey, for we’re all on it as well… with Michael. He said it’s a great adventure. It’s certainly not the adventure we thought we’d be on or hoped we’d ever be on, but we’re on it nonetheless. I completely relate to what you said about the devastating grief punctuated with moments of great joy. Wow, yes. I could’ve written that myself. Amidst all of this intense pain, there have been moments truly on a whole new level, and yes… union with God, union with all… and this blessed and amazing union with Michael, closer than my own heart. Moments knowing and FEELING the truth that we are all one and we are never really apart.

    There is so much more going on in this creation than we tend to notice or even believe in, but BELIEVE it, folks, for it’s not all our imagination. There is so much more going on with sooooo many of us. We haven’t all gone crazy 😉 Oh, and my friends and I also get the amazing synchronicities, yes, like your 111 and 1111 (or 333). All kinds of little signs. I firmly believe Michael has given us the most beautiful gift of knowing that he still exists, and I’m guessing that many of you can relate to this knowing and the incredible joy and the gratitude for this. Oh God, I love him so very much. ♥ ♥ ♥ Sometimes I feel we’re still only at the beginning of what shall unfold…

    P.S. I’m currently reading the book “The Sacred Promise” by Dr Gary Schwartz (his new one) and it’s all about this… a sacred covenant between those in the physical and those on the “other side”, from loved ones and angels and the divine, all one, all keeping in touch. It’s making me think of Michael so often while reading, so I thought I’d recommend it.

  12. Olmick says:

    Thank you, Seven!
    Thank you!

  13. Marlena says:

    Seven, its incredible to me that you have written exactly, almost word for word, what I have also been experiencing since Michael’s passing. One of Michael’s lines that you quote, “Let us dream of tomorrow….”, has hung on my kitchen bulletin board for over a year.
    I am also a creative person who has been discouraged by my own family since my early teens not to express myself artistically. Subsequently, I have also had to make my living in other ways throughout my life. Unfortunately for me, this has lead to years of depression, and I have had a difficult time holding down “regular” jobs. However, since 6/25/09, and after many “unexplainable” occurances related to Michael, I have been steadily feeling more confident and more energized to begin creating again.
    I too believe that Michael did indeed have a mission here on Earth – not the least of which is to inspire the creative spirit in others. I feel truly blessed to have been able to realize his purpose here and regain my own inspiration through him.

  14. Solar says:

    Seven, thank you for your courage in sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings about Michael, who was God’s messenger with a mission on Earth.

    No matter where we are in the world, millions can inexplicably feel Michael’s presence, as you quoted above in his own words, “…there is nowhere to go from Here to Here.”

    In the words of St. Francis de Sales:

    “Make yourself familiar with the angels,
    and behold them frequently in spirit;
    for without being seen,
    they are present with you.”

  15. Lisa says:

    I agree with you. M.J. is loved by those who wish to become a better person. I discovered M.J. after his death. So when I listened to his lyrics, at first I felt a connection to his spirit: he was a man of God. His life shows evidence of it.Yes, he was a modern martyr, he is a mirror of all what is wrong in this world. Now I’m a FAN- and I’m laughed off- but I’ll always be honored to love Michael. He is just anoter part of me, because I’ve had a bad childhood, no mother, a lots of sorrow, and listening to his lyrics, his voice, I feel his pain. Sorry for my English

  16. julie says:

    Hi Seven, I emailed my friend earlier this evening and tried to explain where my Michael journey had taken me. When I then came here and read Falling Through
    I was astonished at how you were able to mirror my own experience with such eloquence. I love you for all that you do and I feel like others who have
    already commented that Michael’s spirit, his energy is guiding you. Julie.

  17. Paula says:

    Seven, I do so look forward to all your posts. They are so deep and so enlightening. Thank you. I do believe that you have a connection to the spirit of Michael and this is so consoling to me.

  18. AnMarie says:

    Oh Seven!
    Your words are magical!
    I knew I was hurt to hear the news, I just didn’t know “how hurt” I was. I was @ work when it came across CNN that Mike had been taken to the hospital. “Oh, he’ll be all right,” When TMZ announced he had died – well, CNN hadn’t reported that, so surely, TMZ didn’t know what they were talking about. When CNN confirmed it, I thought, “What? What does that mean? Whaddaya mean he died?” I stayed @ my desk & continued to work, trying to process the news. A friend ran to my cube & took one look @ me & said, “OK, I’m going back to my desk because if you start crying, I won’t be able to stop myself!” I must have looked really pitiful! I was speechless & numb, yet, I had to keep working. I had to finish out the day in this ‘delayed reaction, dream-like frame of mind…I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t know what to do.

    Michael was a creative genius sent by God. Mike expressed thoughts & ideas, thru his music, that others are just now catching up to…he was wayyy ahead of his time: the environment, animals, taking care of our children, healing them…has anyone heard of “National KidsDay?”

    YEP! This year it’s Sunday, August 7, 2011!

    “There’s a Mother’s Day, there’s a Father’s Day and then there’s National KidsDay!
    National KidsDay was created in 1994 by KidsPeace, a 128-year-old national children’s charity, to encourage adults to spend more meaningful time with their children.”

    Sound familiar? Yes, MJ was wayyy ahead of his time.
    God bless you, Seven!
    Thank you sooo much!

  19. Sina says:

    Seven, much respect for sharing your personal experience and feelings with us. Know that you are in good company. Thank you for exploring your creative side and for creating this beautiful place of love for Michael. Its almost biblical and no coincidence that we share similar feelings.
    Michaels passing also left me with an intense grief that turned into a depression.
    Not only did it confront me with my own mortality as we are the same age, but it took me to places in my soul and self that I didnt know. I felt the pain, betrayal and fear that Michael suffered at the hand of human beings. These feelings were so out of my control that it scared me and I so much wanteds them to go. I took a journey last year with my son to many Michael-places from his childhoodhome in Encino ,his school and auditorium, his last home in Holmby Hills to his final resting place , the Apollo and his Spike Lee birthday bash in NY. It was the best thing to do at that time and I highly recommend it to you all.
    The raw pain is wearing off, what is left now is an omnipresence of Michael and a permanent feeling of loss.
    I ve accepted it and now know that its a spiritual journey that will lead me wherever neccesary. With the journey came awareness that I am here to use what was given to me to help make someones life , day or moment better. Like Michael did.
    Thank you all for your uplifting stories. Thank you Seven for this place .
    Thank you Michael for evrything. I love you.

  20. Carmina Brasil says:

    OH, OH, THIS IS VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL and makes perfect sense and, if not the truth is very, very close to it! God bless!

  21. Susan T says:

    Wow! Seven….thank you for such a beautiful sharing from your soul. As a pilot, I’m sure you are familiar with the poem High Flight – http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/highflig.htm
    I love the line “Oh, I’ve slipped the surly bonds of earth…and touched the face of God”.

    All of us who now know and love Michael, the man, understand that his presence here on earth transcended entertainment. That monumental gift was his most effective instrument to communicate his messages. There’s a saying that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. It’s our souls that are drawn to him and hungry to learn more, to connect with him spiritually. I read somewhere that he understood how much we wanted to be close to him and he reminded us that we can be by listening to his music.

    When I listen to his songs, I feel and see things in a different light. He has awakened a passion for giving, a new appreciation and love for children and how important it is for all of us to reach out and do something to help them, especially when it comes to bullying and child abuse, and a renewed belief in the power of love to overcome any and all obstacles. He sure was ahead of his time. The highly-evolved are always waiting, patiently, for the rest of us to catch up. We eventually come to the realization that we are all “souls” placed here for the joy of the human experience.

    You have a gift, Seven. It’s heartening to know that you are nurturing it and hopefully, your passion will become your vocation! That you are such an articulate, loving voice for Michael is surely a source of constant inspiration to you!

    Again, thanks for caring and sharing!

  22. Michelle says:

    Thank you, Seven! Your words are just magical.

  23. Seven says:


    Of course I am familiar with that poem! Thank you for bringing it to my mind again.

  24. Greet says:

    Thank you again Seven for this beautiful piece. It is really remarkable that so many people have the same experience, Michael being so close…

  25. Heidi says:

    Oh Seven, how you always express what is in the hearts and minds of all of us, as if we were channeling through YOU! Your gift of expression is truly a part of YOUR mission, and you should seriously consider compiling all your beautiful words into book-form for all the world to know and understand our Michael. There is a reason all these thoughts are coming through you and not another. PLEASE consider this. The world NEEDS this knowledge, especially now. I know there are many of us who would help you (financially) in any way we can.

  26. Lisa MJJ1111 says:

    I have had many losses in my life–including 3 men; a husband, and 2 boyfriends-all long term relationships. And NOBODY has effected me the way Michael’s passing did! I was in a state of shock for 2 months..I couldn’t eat, sleep, and felt so empty-drained, like a zombie..Then Michael appeared to me on August 29,2009 right after midnight..and NOTHING has been the same! Every since then I have been having what I call “Michael Moments” HE comes in my dreams, etc..I won’t go into the details..and some events are so special- that I haven’t told anybody including some very close friends. I was not a Michael Jackson “fan”–because I did not know his heart..I have always admired him and never believed the lies..Since his death, My whole life has changed..I did have a Spiritual Awakening when he died..and it only grows stronger..I have dedicated my life in keeping this messenager of God’s legacy alive..I have never had this kind of experience before..Not to this degree of spirituality..not this long..I have always been in touched with the spirit world..since I was a child..and God gave me the gift of “knowing”–Yet, since Michael’s passing-it is in such a level that I sometimes cannot explain..there are no words too..All I know is this..I know WHO TRULY Michael is..and I know that HE IS LOVE and WHY he is LOVE, and I KNOW that his Light will shine FOREVER..another interesting note: When I was researching Michael..OMG–HE is the first person, that totally thinks and preceives the world as I do!! There have been others..but not like Michael..that could have allot to do with my strong spiritual connection with him and our sychronicity is so profound! Our lives were so connected before he died and after..Now the only thing to do-from the deepest part of my heart and soul is to continue his legacy of love..RIP-Michael, you are my forever-you are my BELOVED..

  27. Erika says:

    Dear Seven,
    I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now, and sorry, I’m not really a commenting type, just someone who enjoys your articles, essays, poems, news, facts and figures and little jewels that sometimes get to the surface thanks to you.
    You’ve been giving us so much and I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart !
    But now, when I read ‘Falling Through’, tears ran down my face. It is so recognisable to me, and not only to me but probably also to tenthousands, maybe even hundredthousands of women all around the world.
    I came across so many evidences of women who had similar experiences and emotions, it still strikes me when new ones appear.
    And I agree with Lauren, an awakening is what happened to many of us.
    Michael’s spirit really touched many souls !
    And you wrote it down in such a beautiful way Seven. I just want to thank you for that !
    Love ’n Light from Belgium !

  28. michelle c says:

    Wow Seven–thanks for sharing! Your experience mirrors my own–I was a fan of his music and work since the Jackson 5 days and on into his solo career… I too never believed the accusations..but I never new his heart truly. Not until after he passed, the day he passed I was in shock—I would wake up in the morning with an emptiness in my heart and body–its very hard to explain. But the only other time I had this feeling is when my father died 14 yrs ago. I couldnt figure out why I would have the same feeling for a person I never even met! I began to reseach his life and watch videos, I joined a MJ forum and began to watch You Tube and I realized I was not the only one having this happen. Now I had never joined any forum and had never even looked at You Tube prior to his death, but I felt I had to know more about him. I realized I knew the singer and entertainer, but I missed out on the incredible, loving, kind human being. I fell in love with him and I will never forget him and all he stood for, LOVE.

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